It breaks my heart to see too many broken marriages in this 21st century.
I know that divorce is not a new phenomenon. But this menace to family and by extension society, has been trending upwards in our present days.

Women are accusing men of infidelity and lacking responsibilities. Men are angry at women for being so disrespectful. The blame has become a vicious cycle.

Even though both gender are pointing fingers at each other, it appears one party is bearing the brunt of the melodramatic union than the other.

Let’s be real…
Society has not been fair to women. By a cruel twist of fate, it has reinforced male chauvinism.

Read The Part 1 here

You can understand why we have all manner of movements geared to helping the female folk regain her sense of identity which had long been submerged in a male dominated world.

But here is the truth…

The men are suffering too. Believe me, they are. The most pathetic thing is that, they are agonizing in silence, and that is more dangerous.

My friend, forget the six packs, the baritone voice, the luscious beard, the muscular physique, and perhaps, the 8 figures he generates on a regular basis.

Deep down, the man is struggling with who he really is in this fast-changing world.

What is responsible for the struggle?

He is caught between a rock and a hard place – the cultural views of masculinity and the 21st century ideas of manhood.

How do I mean? Now, hear this…

Most men acquired their idea of manhood from their fathers and the male dominated environment.
See, these fathers were not just the head of the home, they were the “bosses” too.

But time has changed. The head cum boss is now a partner in the home. You can understand why he is finding it difficult to adapt to this social transformation. Often this kind of change is painful to his ego.

Consequently, he is reacting angrily against the women’s fight for gender equality and other social change.

As a matter of fact, some of these men have no intention of adapting. Instead they are becoming more aggressive in their dominance over women because they are scared of loosing control.

Tell you what ? Women are not budging.
So, every now and then, we come up with different kinds of empowerment programs for ourselves and of course, the girl child.

Parents, especially women, are raising their daughters to be bold, assertive, daring, outspoken, enterprising and many more. Indeed, the real woman is gradually evolving in a way that is scaring the shit out of some of these men. One might be tempted to say that the future is female. Lol!

But wait a minute…
Who are we preparing the girl child for?

“Why are you asking such dumb question? Of course, we are preparing her for herself. She doesn’t need a man!”

Really? I doubt it sis. No gender is created to be in isolation. Both male and female were created to connect with one another. This explains why there is male and female of every creature. But I understand your pain because I’m a woman too.

It is true that we are raising her to be all that she can be, first for herself but also for others. Let’s not forget that part. So, she needs a man.

Of course, this need does not necessarily revolve around his “D” even though that’s part of the deal too, right? But she needs him as much as he needs her. Let’s drop the hypocrisy, please.
Back to my question.

I hope we are not raising the girl for the same boy who grew up to see his dad dishing out instructions which were obeyed by his mum without objection?

If it is so, then the society is in trouble. A big one, I must say.

Why pour new wine in old wine skin? Both will be ruined. We can’t afford such stupidity. Its social implication is way too expensive.

Here is my point..
While am not against the girl child empowerment, I think the boy child deserved to be empowered too. Please, let’s not relegate him to the background.

Yes, I know his daddy is screwing up big time. But it’s unfair to make him pay for the “sin” of his father. We don’t want him to be like his dad, so, let’s raise him to be different.

The boy child needs to be striped of all cultural expectations. Stop weighing him down with what he should or shouldn’t be. Let him know that it’s ok to be vulnerable. After all, he is human too.

Sometimes, when I hear a man say to a woman “I will prove to you that am a man”, I weep in my heart. It’s ridiculous to prove what you are already. To prove it, is to negate it. Bros, YOU ARE A MAN!

So, why all the hullabaloo? Listen…

The male is the foundation of the family.

I know you might want to crucify me for saying this. But here is the idea…

Every good house has a foundation which is located at its bottom. The foundation of humanity as a family is the male. Is it that we forget that part or we deliberately ignore it?

Whichever, know that the foundation of every endeavor is very critical to its development. If the foundation of a building is faulty, forget the house. It’s just a matter of time before it collapses.

Majority of the problems we have in the society today can be traced to the faulty foundation of the family. These issues are numerous to contain a single post. So, let me leave that aspect for another day.

Now, being the foundation of the family doesn’t make the male the boss to his own progeny. Rather it makes him a leader – a provider, protector, teacher and a visionary- to his family. To put it simply: the male is responsible for his family. When man sinned in the garden of Eden, God queried Adam, not Eve. You get the picture now?

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You and I know that the family does not exist independently without individuals who are its product. None of us fell from heaven.

This is the weird part…
Changes in family well being and roles can have a dramatic effect on the society.

In building a holistic society, we must pay attention to the family. If we desire a good family, then, let’s look after the boy child, who is the foundation of the family and of course, the girl child too, without which there can’t be a structure.

What’s your own opinion on the issue of gender equality and the Boy child movement ? Kindly share your idea in the comment section, let’s learn from each other.

Ronke Amos

Ronke Amos
Ronke Amos

teacher | writer | editor | speaker | educational consultant

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  1. Hey there! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the superb work!


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